My Best Belief

author's note:

The above illustration is based on a dream--a sleeping dream.

Since dreams don't lie, what I believe must be true: we are indeed climbing.


MY BEST BELIEF

Sometimes when I stop for air
I then have time to feel my fear--

naturally, I'm afraid--
climbing as I'm climbing--!--
apparently, I grow smaller...
as I ascend--ever
smaller--

yes, the greater
altitude gives me
perspective...

nonetheless
when I look down
my heart--
       so instinctual, so animal--
drops

and then...when
I look back up
my tiny eyes see
only cloud--

but who among us
can truly say
where we're headed--?--

without pretending to be God--?

I can only tell you: I woke up
and found myself climbing a hill
that then became a mountain
when I woke up--

not knowing
what else to do
(still so drowsy!)
I kept on going up--

but now, as I see it
we don't really
have a choice--

however,
I no longer
pretend to understand
whatever would be God.

Anyway, to continue
to live by my beliefs
I must push myself
whenever I stop for air
and again feel nearly
overwhelmed by fear

so I tell myself:
"Maybe when I'm high enough
  that animal fear will...give up
  and finally fall away!"

Though I also honestly admit:
maybe not.

In either case, as I continue
crawling up, I hold secure to me
what I believe
may be my best belief:
     no better way
     to endure this life
     than embracing
     my only choice--!

© 2012, Michael R. Patton
dreaming steps