Terrific

author’s note:

I knew the first Lithuanian to attend the University of Hawaii.

He was puzzled when a professor wrote “Terrific!” on a paper he’d handed in. Was the man terrorized?

Interesting how that word has such disparate meanings: what might be frightening could also be wonderful.

Best wishes for 2008.


TERRIFIC

Hard to believe

I have participated
in such
destruction--

hard to believe
I’ve watched
with dry dust eyes–

I am a cracked skull--

I am a ram--I have
broken gardens with
one crush of my horns.

What made me kill
all those people?

I must have been
terribly frightened.

So afraid of death.

What made me devour myself,
then bury the bones in the forest?

I must have been
terribly frightened.

So afraid of life.

Now the panther waits
in the forest, waits
for me to retrieve
my steps.

I am still terribly afraid.

But now I see
I cannot avoid
the steps, the life,
the death.

And so

I’ve crawled
on my knees
through briars
to recollect.

I’ve learned to walk.
I’ve learned the joy
of standing upright.

So I don’t mind
--not at all--
if this valley
blackens to purple--
I can feel the sunshine
growing on
the opposite side.

These hands and paws pulse blood

as I pull the knowledge
pushing out of the earth.

At the summit, I lap sunlight
with my tongue--though
another dark mountain
rises,
hangs overhead.

I’m still terribly afraid.

Yet terrifically pleased
by how such weakness
leads me into strength.

© 2007, Michael R. Patton
searching for the new mythology