Forget Heaven

author’s note:

“I yam what I yam”
        -- Popeye

Okay, Popeye, but what are you, really?


FORGET HEAVEN

Since science could not tell me
what the true nature of my being is
I chose the belief below
realizing it would serve me well--

an idea in line with this close observation:

even as these limbs
slowly lose momentum
I can feel an inner force
gradually gaining strength:
    rising--
    refining its energy.

Maybe I’m just imagining.
But in any case
I can't accept waste--I can’t accept
that what I’ve gained
through this experience
will be lost after death--
no, the entity I am
will still spin--
somewhere
in some form
I’ll be spinning up.

Some will surely say
I hold to this belief
because I want to ease
my fear of death.

But even if I realized they were right
I would still keep this belief
because it lifts me
to a place of wonder
and acceptance of all:

if I’m a spinning top
so is everyone else--
we all keep on rising
long after this life stops.

Forget heaven.
Heaven would be quitting
and I believe
the desire to be more
is ultimately stronger
than the wish to rest.
So though we may relax
occasionally
on our way up
we never stop climbing.

mythsteps · Forget Heaven

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An Important Belief

author's note:

To the woman who tried to teach me the rules of grammar in high school:

“Mrs. Creighton, wherever you are, please excuse the redundancy in verse three.”


AN IMPORTANT BELIEF

How could I accept the death
of someone who seemed

too soon gone from us--
her good work unfinished?

Maybe the answer I found sounds cliché
but years later
I still think it’s a good belief:
we die when our time is done.

Yes--
for reasons we can not know
the beacon needed to die when he did
though his light was so desperately needed.

And that man possessed
needed to take his final step
though his glorious bridge
was only halfway across.

And the group needed
to fly away from here
though in leaving, they left
so much creative passion
unexpressed.

Yes--
apparently, the scientist
needed to exit
on that exact day
though she was only weeks away
from a discovery
that would have saved lives.

To those who want to argue
with my idea, I merely reply:

I believe it’s a good belief
because it says:
don’t try to make sense
of what seems senseless.
Just accept and grieve
without feeling angry.

But maybe this belief
serves an even better purpose:

when I remember what I believe
I again realize
I’d better get going--
no matter how important
my plans seem
Death may not wait.

And with that thought
the present moment
suddenly becomes
monumentally important.

Yeah, I believe I have
some important plans...

Nonetheless
if I fell down dead tonight
I think I'd rest in peace--
comforted by the belief
I’d reached my expiration date--
I had reached my due date.

mythsteps · An Important Belief

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Resurrection War

author’s note:

A “thank you” to M.S. Gutierrez for the spontaneous, energetic portrait above.


RESURRECTION WAR

When young
I tried (for safety’s sake)
to tamp my spirit down.

But by nature, this spirit wants
full experience and expression.
So eventually, it rejected
that death sentence
and began to work against
the smaller one I’d become

that then battled back--
fearing for its life.
Strong for its size.

So though I now fight
for my spirit
the crypt only opens
bit by bit by bit.
After all this time
the struggle continues.

Yes, I often tire of war
but at least I’ve made real
my childhood dream
of being a warrior.

I once believed
this resurrection would end one day
with a glorious triumphant bloom
for all the world to see.

But I realize now
I must adjust my metaphor:
   as I try to create
   moments of peace
   in this endless war,
   bright buds keep popping out--
   begging me to help them break open.

mythsteps · Resurrection War

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Two Types of Happiness

author’s note:

“Prosperity is just around the corner.”
            – Herbert Hoover


TWO TYPES OF HAPPINESS

These days, I tell myself:

don't squander your time
seeking the type of happiness
ruled by the whimsy
of a mad god called “Fortune”--
he will turn his smile into a frown
without warning.

These days, I tell myself:

find the type of happiness found
by those who have gone through darkness
and now beam the beatific smile.

For too long, I believed
I’d find Fortune smiling at me
just around the next corner

and so I worked to turn
corner after corner after corner.

Some may say
I “took a few bad turns”.
To that I’d answer:
I was always spiraling upward.

In fact I now believe
I was actually following
a grand plan made for me:

in the darkness of disappointment
I finally saw what I truly needed
and stopped praying to the erratic god--
now I work to create
a light strong enough to survive
whatever twists of fate await.

Yeah I know
I’m still kinda dim
but I haven’t lost hope--
by continuing this upward course
I hope
to one day be among those
who beam that beatific smile.

mythsteps · Two Types of Happiness

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Returning to Earth

author’s note:

“I am a child in these hills.”
            -- Jackson Browne


RETURNING TO EARTH

When I see those clouds around the mountain peak
I feel inspired--I dream

of a life I can not live
until I’ve elevated myself
through slow steady climbing.
Up there: a life of peace.

But I dream too often--
I cloud my eyes
and as a result
sometimes trip
and hit
the ground--

sometimes hard.

Then as I lie there on my belly
putting head and body together
the dirt and stone and grass under me
begin to speak--silently saying:
welcome back.

Yes, I know them.
But I often forget to visit.
However, like a loving mother
they forgive the child for being foolish.
Home is any place
where I feel small and humble
yet secure.

I do need to dream.
However
I must keep at least one eye clear
and looking down
so I won’t trip and land hard--
down, so I’ll remember
to return softly to the earth
where I can feast and fortify
for the slow heavy climb.

mythsteps · Returning to Earth

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