Finding What's Never Lost

author’s note:

Alas, I decided I needed to change my favorite line:

“I struggled to free myself / from whatever invisible clothesline held me.”


FINDING WHAT’S NEVER LOST

Dreams know where we need to go.

So last night I found myself suspended
in an empty black space.
How high or how low
I did not know.
I only knew
I could not move.

And because I felt so helpless
and because my predicament made no sense
I struggled to free myself
from whatever unseen force
held my flight in check.

But the futility of this fight
only increased my anxiety—
tension built inside my chest.

I feared I might soon explode
or else implode
if I continued to battle
and so
I stopped squirming like an unearthed earthworm
and let my frame be flimsy and empty
and sag haplessly in that unknown space.

Then I waited—
enduring the tedious torture
of being pinned—
waited
until the child within
finally trusted the situation enough
to stop whining

Then in the quiet
my torment ended
as I began to sense a solid reality
beneath my dangling feet.
Again I felt
the strength within my soul.

So easy to forget that secret truth.
Fortunately I’m reminded
ever so often
when a frightening dream
asks me to find
the gain that can never be lost.

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