Tenuous Peace

author’s note:

Self-portrait.  But don’t worry--he’s not that high up.


TENUOUS PEACE

I’m watching my steps today--worried
one little slip could wreck
my peaceful state of mind

yet at same time
I try not to be too cautious
because then I begin to feel weak.

A balance this tenuous
would hardly seem to qualify as “peace”.

Why even bother?  Why fret?
Maybe I’d feel better
if I told myself:
don’t try for a perfection
that can not last
in a human being that seems to be
innately imperfect.

But no--
during those “just right” moments
I feel I’m closer to being the one I truly am
and I enjoy that person much more
than the one I usually am.

But oh--
when the fall happens
I experience such loss

and I always fall too soon--so suddenly too.

How do I live
with this sense of continual defeat?
Well, in my humility, I tell myself
I should feel proud of the amount
of honest effort spent.

Dancing to Raven’s Song: a novel
rain bird
© 2021, Michael R. Patton