The Push

author’s note:

Often, I’ll want guidance...but then, I won’t want the guidance I get.


THE PUSH

I feel I’m being pulled
by some unknown force
along a path that is mine
and yet, not clear to me.

Due to this lack of clarity
the way I’m pulled sometimes seems to lack reason
and so in doubt, I resist
though I’ve learned from experience:

if I hesitate too long
I will be pushed.
Softly, at first.
But then, if I continue to protest
the push will gain in force

until I finally submit
to what I think I don’t want.

However, after I surrender
my anxiety may only increase:

though my feet march forward
inside I’ll still struggle.

So to create some peace
I'll surrender in another way:
I will take a breath and just listen
to what ricochets in my head

which has the effect
of quieting that commotion
at least a little
but sometimes more--sometimes
if I let that quiet grow
I may then detect
something in the depths within:
a dark yet positive mystery--
faintly felt, but undeniable.
A subtle shade of energy.
Nebulous yet stable.
It seems to be
both me and not-me.
Somehow I know it knows me
completely.

The force behind the push and pull, perhaps?
Or merely an accomplice?

Whatever the case may be
after feeling its strength
I will emerge, feeling stronger

for a little while at least:

too soon my head will begin to talk again.

But even as my hands tremble
I’ll step with greater confidence
as long as I remember:
though alone, I’m not alone
but accompanied by
one much wiser.

© 2020, Michael R. Patton
Listening to Silence: poetry ebook