The Sea of Hands, or Why I Began to Walk Again

author's note:

The path is under your feet at
All times.
         -- Tao Te Ching, Cloud Hands Edition


THE SEA OF HANDS, or WHY I BEGAN TO WALK AGAIN

As I slowly woke
to the feelings and thoughts
of body and mind
I no longer found
my feet on solid ground
but instead, saw I walked
on a sea of hands:

a calm ocean of palms

uplifted and held flat
with the fingers tightly together--
no empty spaces in that multi-hued mosaic
of blue, red-brown, and green
spreading in all directions
to a cloudy white horizon.

When I asked, “Who’s down there?”
I received no answer
and when I tried to peek
couldn’t see between the seams.

The hands seemed to be alive
the way trees are alive.
And like trees, appeared mysterious.

Each time I stepped
the hand under my heel gave a bit
then provided a little spring
when I lifted the foot back up.

“Well,” I said to myself,
“these hands seem stable enough.”

But what if I took a step--
unknowingly the wrong step--
and the hand
under my heel
gave way--?--

maybe I could jump
onto the next hand
but what if the sudden weight
made that hand sink?--

what if one hand after another sank?

Where would I be then?

I realized these hands
had supported me in the past
but how I could know for certain
what they might do
in future--?--
I only knew
things do indeed sink
and even if most remain buoyant
the sinkage of just one thing
can lead to disaster
and in each life
doesn’t at least one thing sink?

Those thoughts sank my heart.
I now regretted ever having looked
to see where I stood.
Now, each step felt treacherous--
I became afraid
to move
even one toe.

I stopped...dead still.

Then I realized
the hands now beneath my feet
though steady, were no guarantee:
they could sink in a moment
just like any of the others.
No escaping calamity.

Feeling the weakness of defeat
I then closed my eyes

and waited for the worst.

But though I waited
and waited
I went no lower

even when I pressed--
even when I jumped
up and down.

“Okay, this spot seems safe enough,”
 I said to myself.
“But am I just going to stand here
 all day, all night, the rest of my life?”

No--
better to walk on
than be stuck where I was.

I decided:
wherever I put my feet
would be the place they needed to be--
no matter what happened to me
in that place.

Finding strength in my new belief
I began to walk again.

Since then
I’ve continued to step
but I must admit
sometimes I still let
nervous fantasies in my head
trip me up

but though I land hard
the hands never sink
but hold solid.

myth steps blog
dream steps blog
© 2021, Michael R. Patton